What's with the Fruit?
Please stop with focusing on the shape and size of my body. For one I think the whole idea is just really, really weird. I’ve never understood the concept of comparing people to different fruits. I honestly don’t understand the difference between pear shaped and apple shaped and why we settled on those and not oranges or pineapples.
The other problem is that this shape is only temporary, as with everyone all body sizes and shapes are impermanent. Weight for everyone is constantly fluctuating. Plus, I’m a woman who hasn’t hit thirty yet; I have more hormonal changes to go. And I have been trying for several years to find a treatment program that would take me on. That’s a problem in and of itself but if I were lucky enough to find treatment my body would gain weight. That’s the body’s response to being starved for over a decade. And your focus on how much you like the results of my starvation doesn’t make that any easier. The idea of gaining weight is the hardest part of recovery because I know you all put value on what my body looks like; you all tell me so when you compliment me. And I know you do it because you mean well but you really need to stop.
So stop telling me that I need to love the appearance of my body. Stop telling me that you do. If our idea of body image only covers what’s on the outside we are missing the point.
I’m not there today but I hope one day my body image is based on all the things my body has made sure I survived. My body has kept me alive. Most bodies would give up. I’m constantly astonished that I am still here. My body is just as much of a stubborn shit as I am--so we’re here to stay. And I love that about my body.
People with eating disorders are constantly criticized for being too preoccupied with appearance. We are considered petty and superficial but I don’t think we’re actually the ones concerned with appearances. We are only responding to our environments.
Stop worrying about what my body looks like. Stop complimenting it it. Stop commenting on it—trust me I know if I’ve lost or gained weight. I don’t need you to reaffirm. Instead focus on what a badass my body is for keeping me alive. What zeal my heart has that it hasn’t stopped yet. What courage my kidney has to keep passing those kidney stones. What tenacity my knee has that it still helps me walk. How brilliant my brain is.
Don’t love my body for what it looks like. Love my body for keeping me alive and safe despite a millions reasons why I shouldn’t be able to write to you here today.
How the Fuck Does Someone look like an Apple?